Presentation

This morning, I was trying to tune in to radio on my mobile phone, and realised I missed 2 calls from a colleague last night.


Erm, why would she call me at 8.23 pm? I thought. Probably the IT guy came by to install some programmes on my notebook, and they needed my password. So I called her back, courtesy sake, even though I was on my way to work already.


"Eh, why did you deliberately miss my calls last night?"


"Paiseh lah, I didn't hear the phone ring."


"You have to do presentation today, some analysts from Kim Eng coming. Are you wearing a dress?"


"HUH! Present WHAT??"


"About the company lah. To stock analysts. I run you through in the morning, you present to them in the afternoon."


"Huh?! Orr, ok lor."


Very jialat - in deep hot shit. First, note that she asked me whether I was wearing a dress. The answer is a horrifying NO! I was not even in proper office attire! I was in black T-shirt and black pants, and on my feet was a pair of high-cut Merrell trekking shoes, still dirty with dried mud from my last trek in Qing Liang Mountain 5 months ago. You see, since I'm going to trek up Mount Kinabalu in a week's time, I thought I had better start getting re-acquainted with this pair of shoes. So I decided to go to work in my trekking shoes for a week. Of course I can't wear my short skirts with high-cut boots, so I was in pants.


But I digress. Worse, much worse, is, I absolutely hate, abhor, detest, shudder at presentations. 3 things in this world that can scare the shit out of me - Balloons, Bungy Jumps and Presentations. (Nope, I don't blink at cockcroaches and creepy crawlies like some girls do. But Balloons actually DO scare me) If all goes well, there is fair chance that I will never have to do a Bungy Jump this entire life. I avoid Balloons as much as I can, and I have a choice of turning and walk in another direction, or clasping my hands over my ears, if I spot a going-to-burst Balloon anywhere. But Presentations! There is no avoiding them!


There is something about making Presentations that send shivers down my spine and make my palms sweat. How I wish I can be as cool as cucumber when making Presentations! I don't know, standing in front of a room of more than one is terribly horrifying, makes me feel like I'm being judged for something I actually DID do wrong. I'll stutter, trip over my words, and my usually brilliant and sharp tongue gets all tied up. Worst of all, I'll utter rubbish. Like, "consumer needs" can become "conmuser needs". Urghh!


If I were usually introverted and shy, I'll forgive myself. But you know how awfully whiny and argumentative I am, most of the time. I am pretty expressive and natural during job interviews, you know, when it's one-to-one. It's when the individual becomes a group, that my problem comes in.


I always think public speaking is a skill that is essential. Anyone who can do an ENGAGING Presentation always appear confident, believeable, and extremely charming. I want to be charming. So I've wanted to join a local toastmasters club for ages. But I never did move my butts, except for the one time I attended a toastmasters meeting in Shanghai. Look what happened now. I was to make an important presentation, and I failed miserably in the end. Boohoo...


I am sad. Not because I made any big blunders today. But my Presentation was so... mediocre. (I want to caps the word mediocre, but I don't think THAT word deserves caps) If there is one thing that I try to not choose for myself, it's mediocrity. Lousy in maths? Do it all the way. Fail Linear Algebra for 2 semesters. (Oh, that wasn't my choice though) Cry because kwa buay kwee? Do a big, good BOOHOO. And then, move on. Got saboed to do parapara dance at D&D? Practice in front of the mirror until I die. Cannot lau khui.


Sometimes, must sui bian 随便. When there is tight deadlines, or no money, then of course must sui bian. Because bo pian, no choice, so must Ah Q.


But I can't be mediocre all my life. Mediocrity cannot be an option, when I have abundant resources and a million reasons to be, the very least, Good. I resolve, from this moment, to work towards becoming a good speaker. I think it's got to do with confidence, which I am not very good at. YET. But, well, did I already mention, that a good speaker is extremely charming? Oh yes, I want to be charming.


I will I shall I can I do... CHARM. Wahahahaha...

(P.S. While some of us say prair-zurn-tae-shurn, many Singaporeans say pre-zen-tae-shurn. Really, BBITW will correct if she hears. Unless it's her boss, of course. I just say it right and hope they get the hint)